sick again.

there is no getting better.
i sound like some white knight, blabbling on and on about how terrible and horrible and sad my life is ("you should all pity me"),
but i feel like i'm crawling back down the gutter again.
my head is racing and my bones are aching -
are my meds not working anymore?
i feel like taking a whole bottle of ativan or slitting my wrists.
and i think i'm sick again.

07/23/23
- ch.rlie