goodnight messages

my sweater still smells like your fabric softener (it's not yours - it's some generic off-brand stuff you could find at any department store - but it is to me) and i feel like i'm filled with this unfamiliar warmth whenever i think of you.
it's not uncomfortable, but unusual, and i love it.
i could get addicted to this heat in my gut, the same way i'm addicted to cigarettes and your smell on my sweater,
and i could get addicted to you.
it's like you're belting at an octave higher than everyone else in this shitshow choir,
because you're the only person that stands out to me in the hellish mundaneness of this 9-to-5 on-and-off garble.
and hearing your voice is like taking lsd for the first time:
pure. fucking. ecstasy.
and i love every drop and dreg of you.
i hope i dream about you forever;
goodnight.

07/16/23
updated - 10/24/23
- ch.rlie