sitting, tapping, feeling, waiting

sitting. tapping. feeling. waiting.
glance to the nightstand. glance at the energy drink cans, the empty bottles, the ashtray. glance at the copy of the goldfinch - half read and covered in dust. glance back up at me.
tap the rhythm to your favourite song. tap my neck, my spine, your neck, my back again. tap the unwashed bed sheets, tap your shitty skinny jeans from October, tap tap tap tap...
touch me. feel me up and down. skin, goosebumps, scabs, bruises, fabric i've been wearing since ??? fuck knows (last week). feel my eyes, how they twitch at the back of my eyelids as you press down. feel how i shake in pure fear (anticipation). make my skin crawl. make me sweat.
the clock is ticking. the nightlight is buzzing. the cigarette is cracking as i inhale. the disturbed air makes a sound as i blow smoke into your mouth.
i smell like ash and the rusted steel of the blade. you smell like nickles and home.
sitting. tapping. feeling. waiting.

03/30/23
updated - 07/02/23
- ch.rlie