binge/purge

someteenish years old and counting, standing at the basin of life. the leaky faucet drips and drops uncomfortably sporadically like the days that count by. you'll get back on track later.
[you won't.]
your nose is bleeding for the fifth time today and you're gazing down the barrel of a machine, guns-a-blazin', hooting and hollering until you end up with your own weapon to your head. you're running and running and it's all tunnel vision; riding the high as it lasts because you'll know it'll crash [hopefully not into someone else this time. maybe, who knows]. oh, and when it does crash, you crash hard - you choke on your own vomit like how you choke on your words [how romantic], spewing depravity from your nose and it cycles through again, and again, and never the end.
fuck you and your self indulgent ways.
you twist and contort and attempt to mould yourself like clay - more like a four-year-old playing with playdoh, though, as it never turns out right.
shrink, expand, miserable.
restrict, binge, purge.

05/24/23
updated - 07/02/23
- ch.rlie